And everyone’s been trying to set us up since we were little and it turns out we’re both gay
can someone please make a tumblr for old essays and everyone can just upload their essays and others can steal them for free come on guys
I’m gonna show you what a girl typically working out would look like versus what you want me to look like
perfect person award
<3 Jenna Marbles
I am so glad she did this
It’s not your body anymore, when there is a baby present. Carry that child to term responsibly, or you’re a murderer.
No, I’m sorry, but that’s idiotic. It’s my body no matter what. If I wanted to get an abortion i’d get a fucking abortion regardless if that made me a murderer in someone who doesn’t have to actually carry a baby’s eyes. Birth control being more widely available is a serious issue. You’re stupid if you think every situation that leads to abortion makes someone a murderer. 11 year old gets raped by her cousin “No girl, you carry that child, you squeeze that out of your currently underdeveloped vagina. It’s the right thing to do. You’re a murderer if you don’t. Who cares that it’ll emotionally scar you for life and you’ll forever be reminded of it every time you look at your child or cousin. It’s the humane thing to do. If you were older you’d understand.” Shit, the same thing happened to a nine year old “Who the fuck cares if you’re only a baby yourself, you’re totally going to go through with this, I don’t care if it’ll nearly kill you or damage your insides. Raise that baby like a good non-murderer.”
Then we go overseas where it’s all “You’re pregnant out of wedlock, let’s stone you to death instead of giving you and others like you birth control or the option to abort. I’m sorry that we live in such a fucked up society that if I force myself on you and get pregnant you’re still the one who is shamed. Wait no I’m not, suck it up and deal with it”, “You’ve been told your baby is dying in the womb, no abortion for you girl, you have to keep it and die of blood poisoning. Too bad we could have avoided it if we were more understanding of a woman and her body”.
Open your eyes for God’s sake. You can’t even get pregnant, you’re a man and I get that you have a right to your unborn child and the potential for mental trauma. But you personally are not at risk of dying from pregnancy complications. You personally are not at risk of being shunned by your community and killed for carrying someone elses child. You personally are not having to carry the mental and physical scars of going through an unwanted pregnancy with your potential rapists child. You personally are not at risk of being considered used, dirty and unwanted because of something you could have avoided if proper health care was available to you. You aren’t personally responsible for raising a child (or person with mental capacity of a child) who also has a child because “Abortion is murder in all circumstances”.
It’s not your body either, and until you have to deal with everything above then you cannot tell a woman what she can and cannot do with her body.
My roommate, laying it the fuck down.
This a Moonmelon, scientifically knows as asidus. This fruit grows in some parts of Japan, and is known for its vibrant blue color. What you probably don’t know about this fruit is that it can switch flavors after you eat it. Everything sour will taste sweet, everything salty will taste bitter, and it gives water a strong orange-like taste. It’s also very expensive…costing about ￥16000 JPY (which is about 200 dollars).
or you know this could be photoshopped
you tell me
this is alexandrias melon (wow)
it never grows seeds but it can still produce other melons (its magic)
it is grown deep in the jungles of peru and can prevent you from aging well into the hundreds
it is known by the natives there as k’uhul ajaw cacao shi-jiiy.
its really strange how all of these pictures look exactly the same because everything on the internet is true
This is the Peppermeloni. (seriously gosh just look at that sexy mother fucker) Its scientific name is Tumblrous Pepperonus.
The only known specimen is in a pot in David Karps treasure dungeon. It is a tradition that a single slice is given to every tumblr blog that reaches 500,000 followers.
It has the remarkable property of being as healthy as watermelon but tasting like cheesy pepperoni pizza.
This planet is really just so amazing guys wow.
The taste of this melon will always surprise you.
Today has been great. We can all go to bed, the day is finished.
Oh god this got better.
this post is the bane of my existance
I’ve been trying to motivate myself to do my homework for four hours now
Super Silky Summer Legs
Next time you are feeling down, about to binge, going on a date, or just need to pamper yourself, do this. I just did it and I can not stop rubbing my legs together. It feels like I paid for that over expensive pedicure at the salon.
- 1 1/4 C Sugar (Yup, plain, good-ol’ white sugar)
- 1/2 C Oil (I used olive oil, but you can use any oil, coconut oil, baby oil, canola oil)
- 3 tablespoons Citrus (Lime or lemon)
- 1-2 Razors
- Mix everything together in a bowl.
- Soak your legs in the tub for 5 minutes.
- Shave your legs.
- Rub some of this mixture all over your legs. The sugar will help rub off all dirt and dead skin. Rub, rub. Feels like a mini massage.
- Rinse it all off, shave again. I would use one razor per leg if you have two. You will be rinsing this razor a lot. I was GROSSED out by the amount of dead skin I was “shaving” off. It was insane! Trust me, you’ll see.
- Rub your legs again! Second coat of wax, oh yeah.
- Rinse off! You can use a mild soap to help get some of the oil off.
- Lotion your legs up, and feel the silkiness!
Now this isn’t just geared to ladies…. guys, if you want to get lucky, I suggest you offer to rub your ladies’ feet with this mix too. It feels awesome, and when you get lucky, you will be thanking me that her rough grandma feet aren’t cutting your legs, if ya know what I’m saying… hahaha.
I have silky arm pits too!!
Try it, I swear, You will want everyone to touch your legs.
cURRENTLY GONNA TRY THIS OUT
This is hopebird.
Hopebird is a little project idea of mine. He’s transparent, and I’m giving permission to use this as you want as long as you don’t profit from it.
I want you to put hopebird on your blog (either reblog this or take the image and put it on your blog) if you are a SAFE ZONE. That means anyone who has this logo on their blog will not judge you based on your race, age, religion, sexuality, ability, gender, appearance, or anything. If you see hopebird, it means that this person is open to talk to and offer you support if you need it.
Oooh that’s a lovely idea!
you should make t-shirts that would be really helpful actually
cosette x eponine secret agent/hacker au based on an anonymous prompt
Cosette Fauchelevent, known to her employers as “The Lark”, is one of the most daring and successful secret agents that the French government has in their ledger. When tasked with bringing down J0nd3tte, a hacker who has had particular success in learning some of the deepest secrets the French government has hidden (and exposing them nonetheless), Cosette knows that she will have no problem. She might not be especially skilled in technology but she can manage.
Too bad that the surveillance of the hacker shows up nothing, because there’s no way that the petite brunette who enters and exits the apartment building where the signal boost is highest could be the famed hacker of the cybercrime unit known only as Les Amis.
She forgets that the most important lesson in her line of work is to never assume someone’s innocence.
The relationship she starts with the girl (Eponine, she learns), she swears is strictly for surveillance. No emotion. No strings. Nothing that would convince her to take her finger off the trigger if the time comes.
But the time does come, when Eponine is two clicks away from exposing a government official in an affair that could take down the people that hired Cosette, and her finger on the trigger falters.
and follow each other and make new friends!
i just puked because of how funny this was
SHE SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE ALL OF THEM WTF
Okay but really honestly she sounds just like them
i watched this on the bus.
I had to do it for Celine Dion
Kristin Chenoweth omg perfection!!!